A Newer, Faster Version of what I put up with.

hung over

 How is it humanly possible that at 7:16 in the evening I am still hung over from the night before?

I have done nothing today but try to fix this problem.  And yet here I am, unable to type or a write a letter because I can't form a fucking sentence.  I thought while walking home from the subway this morning of all the things I hate today. (Sorry...strongly dislike) Because that's what I like to do when I'm hung over, make myself angrier.  It's really refreshing.  Here is a shorten version of these things that bother the hell out of me on this given Sunday.

1. Trust fund babies.  Why do they get to enjoy all of the lovely days because they have money and can afford to not actually have a real job.  I want to enjoy a Tuesday afternoon by sitting outside and reading.  Instead of working.  

2. Hang overs.  It's really my own fault.  

3. Ice Cream Truck.  The ice cream truck in my neighborhood follows me around.  And the song is the sorriest song ever.  "Do your ears hang low, Do they wobble to and fro?"  But every time it goes by I hear..."Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?" because of my third grade mentality.  And it sounds like they paid some hispanic to turn a crank in the back of the truck to project the music.  So it sounds like a dying music box.  

4. People who stop in front of stairs and then decide to turn around.  As if the stairs are really too much for them to handle.   And they somehow always manage to walk into me.

5.  People who bitch about the weather.  At least be thankful it's not snowing.  It's never exactly what they want.  Too cold, too windy, too rainy, too sunny...it goes on and on and on.  Bitch about something you can control.  Like your shoes.  Or your cell phone provider.  

6. Railroad style apartments. I'm ready to have a hallway. 

7. BO. Because I have it right now.  And I'm too lazy to get up and do anything about it.

8. Cat hair. I love my cat, don't get me wrong.  It's the best cat in the fucking world.  Most will agree.  But. His hair....is currently stuck to my sweaty chest and it's disgusting.  And he's shedding and there's more and more every day.  And it's on all of my clothes and my towel.  Ever try to dry yourself with a towel covered in cat hair?  I think I would rather just drip dry.  And it's not like I lay the towel down and let him lay on it...my towels don't even touch the floor.  But somehow his hair manages to embed itself into my everything.  

9. My hair cut.

Because it's stupid.

And the final thing that has help me become more angry today is!

10. Alcohol!!!!!  Because I'm still having trouble formulating sentences. And it's starting to get obnoxious.  

Someday I hope that by venting out all of my frustration and anger that I'll be a happy person one day.  But the exact opposite will happen and I will become more bitter and angry and probably alone one day.  

"Muscle relaxers are never the answer"

"I had to go to school on muslce relaxers as a child"

International Federation of Pigeon Fanciers?

Some people spend their time in front of a computer at work typing emails to clients, creating PowerPoint slides, or surfing Perez Hilton for the latest gossip.  

I have to find pigeon people.  

The Creative:

Model playing in pigeons

Model feeding pigeons

Model holding and relasing pigeon

And have to find a pigeon enthusiast who has pigeons that are trained to fly around in formations and peck at the ground.  We're talking the low budget magicians, who can't afford to keep and train doves, they have to work with pigeons. That is the person I'm in search for.  And not only can he have just one pigeon trained...it needs to be more like 60.  

60 fucking pigeons.  

While on my quest for this flying rat lover, I have spoken with the President of the National Pigeon Association, an Ex-Pigeon handler, the founder of the New York City Bird Club, Anna Dove...no joke her name is Anna Dove, and a whole load of other people who feel like pigeons shouldn't be poisoned.  

Entertaining to say the least.

Also. 

I've been looking for rooftops like normal around the Bowery between Astor Place and Delancey.  I've called everything that surronds this certain client's store and no one is interested really or has called back.  helpful.  

But check this out.  

Photograph By: Pinar Yolacan 

Now Showing @ Rivington Arms 

That is the coolest old lady wearing chicken heads at a shirt collar I have ever seen.